Advancing in years can be stressful. It often means less mobility and more aches and pains, making it difficult to manage tasks. Many senior adults are determined to remain independent, but this is not always possible. Millions of people care for senior loved ones. But in many cases, this can be stressful for both of you. Some seniors just would not want to move out. How can you get your parents to move to 55-plus senior apartments when they refuse to do so?
Plant the Seed
Most seniors who resist personal care do so because they feel ambushed. Do not bring up the subject as if you have made the final decision. Allow your parent to be part of the decision-making process. The best way to broach the topic is by planting a seed. Mention the options available and show them how it could make life easier for them. Giving your parent a sense of control will help them to embrace the idea more readily.
Presenting Your Feelings
If your parent cares about you, they will care about your feelings. Instead of making them feel like they are helpless, talk about how the move would affect you. Explain your situation and how helping them with daily tasks is making it difficult for you to parent your children. Let them know how exhausted you are, and you worry that you cannot offer the care they deserve. Explain how much you love them and want them to remain safe and independent.
Visit a Retirement Community
Instead of simply talking about it, ask your parent to indulge you by agreeing to visit a retirement community. Make it clear that this is just a visit to explore future options or “check things out.” Most seniors must not have visited retirement communities that provide exclusive, stylish, resident-focused care. Most of them have preconceived ideas about the communities, informed by the original nursing homes. They often do not understand the comfort available in modern senior living communities.
Using Teachable Moments
Teachable moments like a fall or health scare can help direct the conversation to retirement communities. Use the moments to explain how much better it would be if your loved one lived in a community with other people around. Living alone can be scary, especially as mobility becomes a problem. The communities provide companionship, and seniors interact with other residents and team members in secured neighborhoods. Use the experiences of friends or family members who have moved to retirement communities.
Enlist Expert Advice
Changing the messenger can go a long way in making the message more appealing. Sometimes it helps to get support and expert advice when talking to your loved one. If your parent is refusing to move to senior apartments, enlist the services of a trusted physician, pastor or financial advisor. Involving other people can help make the information more compelling.
Conclusion
Be sensitive to your parent’s feelings and give them time to come around. Moving is an emotional process, and you may need to back off for a while. Be patient but do not give up. Allow them to evaluate the situation, and hopefully, they will conclude that they need personal care.
